Managing Birthdays, Holidays and Events After Your Divorce: Keeping it Civil

After your divorce, dealing with birthdays, holidays and other special events may present serious challenges for you and your co-parent. Finding ways to deal with these issues can help you provide the happiest childhood experiences for your little ones. Here are some important tips to help you manage the big days in your child’s life more effectively.

Plan Ahead

Discussing your holiday or birthday plans with your former partner well in advance can allow you to avoid misunderstandings and schedule conflicts. Depending on the terms of your divorce, you may have a set holiday schedule that provides you with a schedule for who will spend which holidays with your child. This schedule may be reversed for alternate years. In any case, letting your co-parent know about your plans in advance can promote the best possible communication about these special events in your child’s life.

Coordinate Gifts

Letting your former partner know what you plan to get for your child for holiday celebrations and birthdays can help you avoid the annoyance and inconvenience of duplicate gifts. A simple email or text message can go a long way toward coordinating your present-giving activities and ensuring that your child receives the gifts he or she is hoping for on birthdays and other holidays.

You can also extend this courtesy to former in-laws and your own family. A little forethought and consideration will help to avoid disappointments and ensure the best outcomes for your child and your holiday celebrations. 

Maintain Flexibility

While, not all plans can be changed, allowing for some amount of wiggle room in drop-off and pick-up times will usually pay off in the long run. By providing your co-parent with the benefit of the doubt when dealing with schedule changes, you can avoid unpleasant confrontations that could potentially spoil the holidays for yourself, your children and your former spouse. Being willing to work with your former partner to keep the atmosphere pleasant during special occasions can be a solid step toward a happy holiday for every member of your family.

Share Holidays

If you and your ex are still on fairly good terms, you might consider sharing birthday party responsibilities or planning a meal with you, your former partner and your children at home or at a favorite restaurant. These shared experiences can make a big difference in the lives of your children and could allow you to enjoy a more relaxed and comfortable atmosphere during these special days.

Focus on the Positives

Although you may be on your own for a portion of the holiday season, you can make the most of this time by planning a vacation or setting aside some time just for yourself. This will allow you to rest and recuperate, which could allow you to be an even better parent upon the return of your children after the holidays are over.

These tips can help you manage holidays and other special events more easily and can ensure the best experiences for yourself and your children after your divorce in the state of California.

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