Holidays like Father’s Day are special celebrations to cherish and appreciate loved ones. For any recently divorced parent, Father’s Day is often marred with anxiety, depression or even strife. Should you be a freshly divorced parent, here are a few tips to make this Father’s Day a holiday to remember that is full of positivity for both yourself and your children.
Mothers
Always go out of your way to encourage your kids to not feel any guilt in celebrating your ex-partner, despite what your own feelings towards him might be. If required, even offer a helping hand in making a thoughtful gift for him or if they desire to buy him a present with their own money, gladly take them to the store and offer insights. Granted, you may feel negatively toward your co-parent, and with good reasons, too. However, remember for your children’s well being, it will be better for them to not share in or even be aware of your acrimonious feelings towards their father. The key to your kids’ self-confidence and identity lies in accessing equal love from both of their parents. So don’t hurt them in a similar manner as your ex-partner may have done to you. Lastly, try to be magnanimous by offering your co-parent sufficient time with the kids on Father’s Day.
Fathers
For most divorced men, Father’s Day might feel like a cruel reminder of their most severe loss from the separation; spending time with their offspring. Yet, going through a divorce is equally painful to children as their parents. This means you should utilize this Father’s Day to comfort and reassure your kids that you will always be there for them and work with your co-parent in their best interests, regardless of the divorce. In spite of the limitations on the exact time you can actually spend with your kids, you should go to great lengths to express the love you feel for your children within the court orders’ boundaries. In other words, plan something not only fun, but meaningful to show how you truly care.
Put away all your anger and resentment
It’s quite natural to harbor acrimonious feelings towards your co-parent, especially if the divorce is still fresh. Nevertheless, Father’s Day is all about you and your children, not your ex-partner. Therefore, check your anger and resentment and try your best to work with your co-parent to make this Father’s Day as momentous as possible. Also, if you will only get to spend a short time with your kids, always remember it’s not the length of time that counts, but getting some quality time with them. So make some effort to plan something special with the time that you have this Father’s Day.
Leverage technology to spend some virtual quality time with your children
Even if you don’t get to see your kids in person this Father’s Day because you live in a different region from your co-parent or she isn’t as flexible as you might like, cheer up. There are still many other ingenious ways to spend quality time with your children. For example, you could have a long phone call with them and share how your day was. Better yet, you could have a video chat with them and engage in fun virtual activities together. This may include playing interactive games, reading books, or even watching movies with them. This way, you may leverage technology to spend quality time with your kids despite the distance.
Don’t be overly preoccupied with money
One of the dire repercussions of going through a divorce for some fathers is financial hardships. Still, never be ashamed that you can’t take your kids out on Father’s Day to a fancy restaurant or on an all-inclusive trip to Disney World. It is quite common and totally understandable if your divorce left your bank account dented. So don’t be overly preoccupied with failing to impress your kids this Father’s Day. To make fun memories, you won’t need to break the bank. Rather, it takes some meaningful and thoughtful planning.
Don’t be afraid to be creative
You could use Father’s Day as the perfect excuse to do something different from what you usually do when your kids come to visit you. For instance, even simple things such as planning an escapade to the local park, hiking trails or even a day out fishing will enable this Father’s Day to stand out from normal visitations.
Father’s Day can be extremely trying after a recent divorce. However, you and your co-parent need to be proactive in making sure your children understand you love them unconditionally regardless of what you could be feeling towards each other. So never allow your resentment to damage your relationship with your kids this Father’s Day.
